Which leads me to come to the realization that even the people we look up to the most can make mistakes. Even the ones that preach and teach all of the things we should be doing can sometimes fall into those very same behaviors. Does this make them a hypocrite. Not at all. It simply means they are human. We can be mad, sad, disappointed, misled, and even let down but it doesn't change the fact that we are in control of only one thing, our own reactions. It's important to remember that we can take control of the situation and learn from it
I am a full blown overachiever, so when someone gives me a task, gives e guidance, tells me how things should be, I give it the utmost respect. If I fall short, I instantly turn it on myself and think of all the things I should have done differently. I care about the people I may have let down in the process and feel guilty. My guilt sometimes will overwhelm me. I internalize things, make myself feel worse and tell myself I need to do better.
Does everyone feel that? I question if it's right or wrong. Should I learn to brush things off and move on or am I right to feel like I need to g better. I guess it all comes down to character. I want to be remembered as someone who follows through and practices what I preach. I guess maybe I have high expectations that others will do the same.
Maybe it's time for me to toughen up accept the fact that I just can't do the right trig all the time. It is unrealistic because I am human and I make mistakes. Maybe I need to learn how to accept this and not care so much about being perfect. Maybe some people will get hurt along the way, but I have been let down too many times. I also hold so much guilt for fear of letting others down. It's time to get rid of a little piece of it.
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